About 4 and a half years ago my Grandma moved from Lebanon, NH to Little Falls, MN to live with my aunt and uncle. When she 1st moved my aunt and uncle threw her a 85th b-day party and all the family from around the country-NH, CA, WA, and IL-that were able to come showed up to help celebrate. It was an unsaid thing, but everyone made such an effort because my aunt didn't think she was doing so well. Well, she proved everyone wrong, and in the meantime I was able to really get to know her. She was the more distant Grandma spending the majority of her time with her daughters and their families. So when she moved 1 1/2 hours away from me I decided to make the effort to go visit her about once a month.
When I first started going up there she would be sitting at her card table in front of the huge windows overlooking the river working on a puzzle. We would sometimes work on the puzzle together, but most of the time we would just talk. Many times I would go up there with my dad and it was always a double bonus for me. To talk to my dad all the way up, then talk to my grandma, and then listen to the stories they would tell each other about the past was always a real treat. My Aunt Sue would sometimes join us but most of the time she wanted to give us the time to talk to Grandma. Sometimes we would play Skipbo and she loved Skipbo. She especially loved to get rid of the cards in her hand so she could draw 5 more which isn't the object of the game but you couldn't tell her that! She was surprisingly competitive and she loved to win. She also liked to remind us that "there will be no cheaters in heaven." Grandma would love our company for an hour or two and then she needed to rest.
It went on like this for a few years. Then when we would go up there she would be sitting at the kitchen table in "her chair". My dad would sometimes bring sweets up and she always had to have a little something with her coffee. We would sit at the table and talk. We talked about family and good times. I realized that a lot of the times we would be on the same wavelength. She LOVED to talk about God and she spoke frequently about the importance of having a personal relationship with Jesus Christ. It was always a huge part of her thought process-worrying about the salvation of her family. She prayed tons for family. She talked about Jesus dying on the cross for the forgiveness of our sins and she said that sometimes the magnitude of that would just hit you and a light bulb would go off and you would understand it's significance. My dad would bring her Bible studies and she would have them done by our next visit. One time I brought up a book for her to read called The Relentless Love of Jesus and she told me that one night she was having difficulty sleeping due to anxiety and she read the whole book and it calmed her down.
Sometime Grandma would sit down at the piano Sue and Mick got her and she would play. She was always saying that it didn't sound good but I always thought her playing sounded wonderful. She was an excellent piano player and could play by ear. When she was young she played piano in a band called the Nielson Victorians. I loved those moments when she would sit down at the piano and I have many memories listening to her play as a kid. Music was a huge part of her life and it is for me as well. She was always asking me about my singing and if I was doing anything with it. It was always hard to tell her I wasn't doing anything about it. A couple of times my dad had a local musician come play for her. He would play oldies and old country tunes and gospel hymns that she knew. She would just sit back and take it all in.
One Saturday I went up there just me and we sat and talked for 9 hours. 9 hours! That was huge! I couldn't believe my good fortune! We talked about family, my grandpa, God, life, everything. At the time I was single and Grandma talked about how good it would be for me to get married some day. She didn't want me to end up alone. I called my dad after that long visit and told him what a gift from God that whole day was and that I hoped I would remember things we talked about and advice she gave. I remember not wanting to wear her out so I would try to leave but she just kept talking so I stayed until I had to leave!
She loved dogs too. Yet another thing we had in common. Sadie was always with her during the day and it seemed like that dog understood everything my Grandma would say to her. It was pretty cute. Sadie was always near Grandma. Of course part of that could be because Grandma shared all her meals with Sadie. :)
I was so fortunate and blessed to have her at my wedding. It was her last outing. It was a beautiful coincidence that we scheduled our wedding near the State Fair. My aunts and uncle made a HUGE effort to get grandma to the fair and to our wedding and I'm grateful for that. After all the hoopla and excitement from the fair and the wedding my grandma went on oxygen at night and my aunt got her a hospital bed. Unfortunately she didn't like the bed she prefered the recliner. My mom had convinced her at the wedding that using oxygen was an ok thing to do and my grandma started using it at night. One day when my dad and I went for a visit she said she was really glad to see us because she felt like she was going to die the day before. She had walked to the kitchen and got so winded she experienced chest pains. She made it back to her oxygen and felt better but she wasn't going anywhere without her oxygen again. Sue and Mick got her set up with some long tubing so she could get where she needed to go in the house with her oxygen on.
After that episode she was almost always in her room sitting in her recliner with Sadie right by her feet. Every so often she would get up and sit in the kitchen but it happened less and less. We still had great conversations about life and faith, but they started to drastically change in the past 1 1/2 years. She started talking about her death. It was very difficult to hear about at first but it became such a common part of our conversation I just got used to it. One day I even told her to enjoy each day to the fullest but it didn't go over too well. She was so ready to go see Jesus. Frequently she wondered why she was still here and she talked about how her soul must not be ready for heaven. She wondered if maybe she had more to learn. She was always trying to figure out what God was trying to teach her and tell her. She talked about how much she loved the 23rd Psalm. She would frequently quote it to me.
Grandma always remembered everyone's b-day AND anniversaries. It was a BIG feat because she has 6 kids, 20 something grandkids, and 20 something great-grandkids. She felt terrible about not being able to keep up with all the card sending. It just got to be too much work for her. She said she would say prayers for people instead. That was a tough one for her though so she ended up calling up her kids on their b-days and singing to them with Sue helping. That made Grandma feel better.
Grandma loved to laugh. She was always laughing. One time I drove up with my dad and all my aunts and my dad and uncle Bill were there and they all told stories. I tried to just sit back and listen. How fun that was! They laughed and laughed telling stories from the good ole days. She loved her kids so much! They teased her a bit telling her that KFC was made out of seagulls. Ha ha.
The last time I went to visit her she was all out of sorts worrying about her sister June who just had a stroke. I got her some lunch and we talked. After a bit I asked her what she was looking forward to when she got to heaven. She thought for a minute and said, "a beer. A beer and a braut. And if they have that one game I love to play at the casino..." I started laughing because here I was thinking she would say something about seeing her mom! I said, "so, you want there to be drinking and gambling in heaven?" She said, "well, just one beer. And I'd like there to be lots of animals. No wine though, I don't care for wine." Oh, what a fun memory! One that I won't forget anyway!
I'm sure memories will come back to me over the years but some things I'll never forget are listening to her talk about God and realizing how much we had in common. I always had a great time visiting her and I will miss that lots.
Love you Grandma!
Workbench
12 years ago
